I have to remember that the real goal here is to share MY journey. So forgive me if sometimes I digress into some moments where I sound like a teacher. I have a natural inclination to teach and did so for 3 years in high school English. I did a lot of teaching in my career as a property manager as well. Old habits die hard.
Today I woke up a bit afraid of my financial future. Those moments where I get caught up thinking too far into the future about things I know I have very little control over are the ones that get me the worst. In the book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach, I read that it is better to think about your financial serenity as opposed to your financial security. So I am pondering on that and what it means to me. I’m sure it has a lot to do with just trusting that as long as you are being open to opportunities and thinking about what you want and need in positive ways that it will come to you.
I akin this fear to a little bit of stage fright and maybe a bit of complacency. In the last year, I have become very accustomed to having control over the outcome of my day, not having it dictated by a rigorous schedule at a job I wasn’t happy in that often got me home late every day. In my past work life as a regional property manager, I could be bombarded daily with crises and fires, sometimes literally, to put out. And the emails! What a time suck emails are!
In my current life, I have a lot more freedom, and ultimately a lot more peace. Guess what else I have? Bills to pay! So I’m helping a friend grow her marketing business and renting a back room out on Airbnb. I’m doing my blogs and podcast hoping it pays off someday with a book or a larger audience. And I signed up to drive Uber. I love people and I love to drive. It should be a win/win. Right?
No. I have stage fright. Funny for someone who feels completely comfortable getting up on stage in front of a room full of people and singing or talking. But I do, and I really am not sure why. Fear is funny like that sometimes. It announces itself at the party without an invitation, and you don’t know why it’s there.
I think a leap of faith is needed. An, I can do this moment is called for. No worries! Take each passenger one ride at a time. Breathe…. pause before each destination, and go gently.
That first step may be the hardest, but the accomplishment felt even being willing to take the chance regardless of the outcome is sometimes the reward you need to push you forward for the next time.
Wish me luck!
