When a friend comes to you with hurt it can be easy to quickly jump to their defense and take their side. I find that listening first, and understanding that while your advice may be well-intentioned, you never really know the whole picture. You just simply can’t. Doubtful that you know all of their past hurts that lead them to where they are now in their current heartache, and you certainly can’t know anything truly about the person on the other side of that heartbreak.
If any advice must be given, I suppose that it should be for the other person to take some time to seek the place inside themselves that needs to heal, to give themselves time to pause and be aware of their feelings and emotions, and to do their own work when and however they are ready to do it.
There is absolutely no one ideal way for anyone to approach healing. However, when we are putting ourselves first, making ourselves a priority, we are closer to accomplishing the task than when we make futile attempts to fix someone else or chase after them for the love we need and can ultimately only provide to ourselves. Emotions and feelings often rule us. How we feel is important, mostly in the sense that it provides us clues on our own health and well-being. Pay attention to those clues, to your gut. I promise it won’t often lead you astray.
I’ve been learning my whole life that love must be found inside in order for me to best give it to others. My whole life. That is a long process, folks. And I’m still learning.
The work is paying off, now that I’m taking my own advice. Every day is a new affirmation of how far I have come to achieving self-love. Being planted and centered, I now enjoy my own company so much more. I recognize my value and seek to build on that value because I want to be the best version of myself. I can’t explain why, but I find that I attract more quality people along my path this way.
So, chin up, rose! Perhaps today the butterfly seeks its freedom elsewhere. But as you become more grounded at your core, soaking up the nutrients you need to thrive from your source, basking in the gorgeous light of the Son/Sun, your beauty may radiate so that one day the beautiful butterfly notices you for the first time in this new glow, and learns to find its rest on your glorious petals… loving you for the sanctuary you provide… thorns and all.